THAT SH*&%! WON’T FLY AROUND HERE!

I just read an article, or actually a blog post about proper airplane attire and it got me thinking…I realize that a long time ago people dressed up to get on a plane. This was also ย a time when people dressed up to go to the gas station, but that’s beside the point. And even though I’ve never been on a plane, I do still think people should, at the very least, dress casual and decent. I don’t know why I have that opinion, but I do. It’s based on absolutely nothing and no previous experience at all. That being said, I noticed a reoccurring position seemed to be held by a lot of the people commenting on the post. Aside from the ones who declared comfort is the most important thing, there seemed to be many who scoffed at the idea of comfort on a plane, and firmly expressed their opinion on the air-traveler’s attire.

The word “professional” was used an awful lot. “People should look professional when flying on a plane” ย some demanded. “I always dress like a professional when traveling by plane!” said a few more. So while it left me questioning the proper airplane attire, I was left with what I believe is a much more appropriate question. Professional what? Why is it important to look professional on an airplane, and does this even make any sense? Should your chosen outfit for the flight be based on your actual profession? I mean if we’re trying to be professional here, should Joe Blow from McDonalds wear his McDonalds’ uniform? Should a Yoga Instructor wear their Yoga clothes? If you work in maintenance, should you wear a maintenance uniform, complete with name badge and a ring of keys clipped to your belt loop?

I suppose people with desk jobs, or any profession that requires a dress or suit and tie would look pretentious and they would scoff and look down their noses at the other passengers- or wait, that’s what First Class is for, right?

All I can say is, should the need arise for you to fly from one place to another, Heaven help you if you’re a hooker!

Sooooo. DO or DO NOT wear this on a plane? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Enjoy, Barrelassers ๐Ÿ™‚

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WHAT DOES THE QB DO, AGAIN?

ย Keeping it real, I’d like to say, that I do not watch Football. I do not follow Football at all. Unless, of course, my kid is playing for the team, and even then, I have no clue what in the hell is going on-at any time during the game. And my kid now plays Basketball, so that really leaves me out of the loop.

Real life conversation in my house during the Super Bowl XLVIII:

Me: “So, we live in Tennessee, so I’m gonna pull for the Broncos because of Peyton Manning. That is the only way I can pick a team to pull for.”
Barrelassin’ Jay: “Sounds good.”
Me: I know absolutely nothing about this game, Jay. But I know that Peyton Manning is a big deal. What position does he play?
Barrelassin’ “Jay: He’s the QB.”
Me: “Well, I know everyone loves the QB! That’s an important guy! But tell me this…I’ve actually paid some attention to this game, and I’m wondering, is Peyton’s only job to throw the ball at someone else and see what they do with it? Like, he gets the ball, waits until he’s almost attacked, and picks a guy to throw it to, and then what? He just stands around to see if he made the right decision?
Barrelassin’ Jay: “Sort of, but not exactly. The QB usually calls the plays. He has a lot on him.”
Me: “So…he guesses who to throw the ball to, in this case, the guy who can’t catch at all, and then he stands there and waits to see what happens, and the play was all his idea to begin with, and none of the ideas worked, yet, he’s the only one on the whole entire team I’ve ever heard of? Why does everyone want to be the QB, and why does he get to make all the commercials, and make all the money, if that’s all he does?”ย 
Barrelassin’ Jay: “It takes a lot of skill to throw that football, and not everyone can do it.”
Me: “What about the guys who catch the ball, and make the touchdowns?! This is the dumbest game, EVER!”ย 
Enjoy, Barrelassers ๐Ÿ™‚

GROUNDHOG DAY XLVIII- WE CAN DO IT ALL AGAIN TOMORROW

Everyone’s going on about the Super Bowl. Worried about which team will win, the Denver Broncos or the Seattle Seahawks? The commercials, the food, the whole nine yards (pun intended.) Me, I’m over here on this rainy Groundhog’s Day, simply wondering if we’re going to go through all of this again tomorrow? Will every day now technically ย be the day after the Super Bowl, but still the day of the Super Bowl?

ย ย Will the fans actually now be watching the Super Bowl every single day, thus meaning every day is Super Bowl Sunday? I do not think is a coincidence, and was clearly scheduled by a Football fan. I guess we won’t know ’til tomorrow, but either way, I think we should make darn sure that we make the very best of today, in case we have to relive it all over again tomorrow.

And just throwing this out there, I think the Super Bowl is stealing all the spotlight from that little Groundhog. So, for those of you who don’t know yet, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow today, therefore confirming six more weeks of winter. Truthfully, I think we all saw that coming.

Enjoy, Barrelassers ๐Ÿ™‚

TOP ELEVEN LIES PEOPLE TELL TO MAKE THEIR POINT

11) “It’s colder than a witch’s titty.” (How do we know this?)

10) “I swear!” (And yet it makes everything sound much more believable.)

09) “I promise, I won’t tell anyone else.” (If you have to make someone swear to secrecy, you probably already distrust this person a little. Don’t tell them)

08) “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times.” (Who’s keeping up this?)

07) “If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that, I’d be rich.” (Remember, it takes 2,000 nickels to make $100.00. While $100.00 is very handy, it’s hardly enough to make anyone “rich.” Now imagine, how many times you would actually have to hear something to get rich by way of the mighty nickel.)

06) “I’m coughing my head off.” (Coughing is uncomfortable, annoying, and sometimes painful-but your whole head? Right off your body?)

05) “I laughed so hard I cried.” (While this does happen, most people actually tear up a little at most while laughing. It takes a really good laugh, to make one actually cry.)

04) “Hurry, I’m about to pee in my pants!” (It’s certainly best to get to the restroom when you need to go, but is everyone really about to actually pee in their pants before they can get to the restroom?)

03) “I could’ve died!!” (Could you? Could you really have just died by something as simple as hearing some sorted information?)

02) “You’re giving me a headache.” (Is someone really giving you a headache, or are they just annoying the hell out of you?)

And the number one lie people tell to make a point -determined by me, and comes in several forms is…

01) “You almost gave me a heart attack!” “I nearly had a heart attack!” “I thought I had a heart attack!”

(Think of how many times you would have nearly had an actual heart attack, or thought you actually had a heart attack over your lifetime, if this were a true statement.)

Enjoy, Barrelassers ๐Ÿ™‚