I’M HAVING A SENIOR MOMENT, LITERALLY

Tomorrow I will accompany my middle son to have his senior pictures taken. First of all, he doesn’t understand why I would want to be there and tried using the logic that he learned from me without even knowing it, that he’s seventeen years old, he can do this on his own. I just used that one on him two nights ago when I asked him to get me a password that I needed from his school to view his grades online when he informed me that it would just be easier for me to call the school and ask for it myself- “But you’re seventeen years old and there five days a week for hours at a time, why can’t you ask for me?” I asked. That seems totally reasonable to me, but what the hell do I know?

This is my second time preparing for a child to graduate and thank GOD I had a two year break in between, because if the crying and roller coaster emotions aren’t enough to keep you down, your bank account disappearing before your very own eyes for an entire year should definitely do the trick.

Why do I need to pay three-hundred dollars for a senior page that will in turn cost me another eighty dollars to look at? I own these damn pictures. I can see them anytime I want, so why do I feel the need to pay the extra money for everyone else to see them as well? Because they don’t come over to look at my photo albums, I guess, and how else will they see how cute he has been from birth through now?

And tell me again why every time a photographer takes my child’s picture, Walmart won’t let me make copies without a release form from the photographer. He’s my child! They should have to sign a release form to take his picture and get charged for it, too!

Enjoy, Barrelassers πŸ™‚

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PCH- SHOULD STAND FOR PUBLISHERS CLEAN HOUSE

I’m always waiting for Publishers Clearing House to show up at my house. Let’s face it, we all want that to happen. But I can’t help but think that if they showed up right this minute, I’d be more humiliated than excited. First of all, my hair’s a mess. Nobody wants to be on TV, or see me on TV, looking like this.

What about the house? The driveway needs paving. They’d probably stop at the bottom of my driveway and have a discussion about whether or not it would be easier to pick a new winner or go four-wheeling to the top. Then once they got to the front door all I would be able to think about is if they notice the dishes in the sink, or the crumbs on the floor.

All I’m saying is that if you’re planning on giving me $5,000 a week for life, I’d like a little notice. I love surprises and all, but let me fix my hair and put on some pants… and possibly meet you at someone else’s already clean house.
Enjoy, Barrelassers πŸ™‚

JAKE E LEE- THAT METAL SHOW

So I thought I’d grab a beer out of the fridge to sip on. I get my beer and I’m casually walking through the living room where my Barrelassin’ hubby is watching TV. Conversation is as follows:
BH: Jake E Lee is on That Metal Show.
Me: I see that.
BH: Look how good he still looks.
Me (very cool and casual): Yeah, I saw that, too.
BH: (laughing) Wait a minute…come back here.
Thank goodness he’s not the jealous type and thinks I’m as funny as I think I am.

Enjoy, Barrelassers πŸ™‚

THESE SHOES WERE MADE FOR WALKING? LATEST SHOE TRENDS? WHAT THE WHAAAA?

I would like to introduce you to my Barrelassin’ cousin. Well, to her feet anyway. These are her feet at work this morning. I assure you it’s not April Fool’s Day, it’s not even crazy shoe day at her place of employment, and she didn’t do it on purpose. So how in the hell did this happen? She has no idea.

This girl got her butt up out of bed this morning, got ready for work, and not only did she put on two different shoes and leave the house…she didn’t even notice it until she was walking into her office when the thought crossed her mind that her feet felt a little funny. These shoes look nothing alike. One has an open toe for crying out loud!! I would be willing to bet that they’re different heights, too.

We are related in case you ever wonder how I got the way I am…it’s all in the family.
This is the most fantastic thing that’s happened all year long, and let’s face it…I got to talk to Oprah Winfrey on the telephone as a call in on WWHL with Andy Cohen. This is right up there with talking to Oprah level of happiness. This is true happiness, looking at this photo makes me happy.
I wish it was a video…we’d be famous on Youtube!
Enjoy the hell out of this one, Barrelassers πŸ™‚

ON THE ROAD AGAIN PART 3

So we actually got to unpack in KC! We spent five nights here. Barrelassin Hubby had a conference, but we got in as much fun as we could between work and sleep.
The zoo is fantastic- and our hotel, The President by Hilton is absolutely beautiful. The Power and Lights District is where all the action is and within walking distance to all the best food and entertainment!
Enjoy, Barrelassers πŸ™‚