Best Maid of Honor Toast Ever (Eminem Rap) *Captions* VERY COOL!

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HUMPFEST 2013! THE HUNGER GAMES!

Humpfest 2013 has officially kicked off! This is a week long, annual event that takes place at my house each July. Every year, my best friend goes on vacation and I dogsit for her. I have my own four lb. Chihuahua, so we add to the mix, two more Chihuahuas and a large Boxer. My four lb. Chihuahua, George, thinks that Rocky, the large Boxer, is his boyfriend.

So I raise a toast to George and Rocky: Let the games begin! May the odds forever be in your favor!

HANK WILLIAMS- KAW-LIGA HIJACKED THE REST OF JULY!


If you’re just waking up from your 4th of July party, and you’re still hung- over, then you must’ve had a fantastic time! Congrats! Too bad you probably have no idea, though. As for me, I’m still singing Kaw- Liga! I woke up singing it yesterday and today, and will likely still be singing it until the next party. What we do we celebrate next? How long do I have t get ready?

Enjoy Barrelassers πŸ™‚

Don’t forget to pick up a copy of my eBook I Only Wrote This To Piss People Off! at any of the following locations:
http://www.amazon.com/Only-Wrote-This-To-People-ebook/dp/B00DDHLSM6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373121527&sr=8-1&keywords=I+only+wrote+this+to+piss+people+off

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/319453

TOMMY LEE’S ASS; THROUGH-OUT THE YEARS :)

Actual conversation 1990-ish.
Me (16 yrs old) :Β “Mom, I want to get my boyfriend Motley Crue, Dr. Feelgood tourΒ tickets for his 16th birthday!”
Mom(48 yrs old) :Β “Okay! Great, but I wanna go, too. I’ll drive you guys!”
Me: “Huh? I really don’t think you’ll like Motley Crue, mom.”
Mom: “I like some of their stuff, me and your boyfriend’s aunt will get tickets too and go with you guys.”
Me : “Sure, I guess.”

Flash forward twenty three years to 2013.

Me (now 39) : “Hey, Mom! Motley Crue is gonna be notΒ very far away from here. I’d love to see them again. Wanna take a road trip, me and you, and go see the Crue?”
Mom (now 71) : “No thank you. I saw quite enough of Motley Crue and that Tommy Lee’s ass hovering over my head half the night in nothing but a thong playing those drums!”

Me: “Oh yeah? I thought you liked them?”
Mom: “I don’t know what the hell they even sing, or half the people you’ve drug me to see, but saying “I like them too” is a darn good way to watch my baby girl in those mobs of crazy ass people.”
Me: “So I guess I might go then.”
Mom:” When and where will they be? How long do I have to get ready?”
Me: “Lol, it’s okay, we’ll catch them next time, Momma.” πŸ˜‰