AMAZON KINDLE EDITION! I ONLY WROTE THIS… TO PISS PEOPLE OFF!

Yay me Barrelassers! My new eBook I Only Wrote This To Piss People Off! is now available on Amazon for Kindle edition. Go check it out! Yay me!! 😉
http://www.amazon.com/Only-Wrote-This-To-People-ebook/dp/B00DDHLSM6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371140967&sr=8-1&keywords=i+only+wrote+this+to+piss+people+off

ROCKWELL? BIG BROTHER?

With all the Big Brother in the news lately, I can’t help but think that perhaps Rockwell was on to something long ago. They tried to tell us. I’m willing to bet a lot of people have been singing this song recently. The thing is…I’ve just always assumed they were always watching us anyway, probably thanks to this video. Damn! I probably had years of privacy until now and didn’t even know it! I could’ve picked my nose or scratched my butt anywhere I wanted to without worrying. I wasted it! It’s all cool, though; I’m almost forty; not too many more years till I don’t give a damn what people see or hear from me. One of these days, I’ll be able to fart right in line at the grocery store and not care; just laugh when people make the face and blame it on the dog.

I always feel like…somebody’s watching meeeeeeeee Barrelassers; enjoy :/

FINALLY…THE GLORY DAYS

Well, I’ve finally made it. I’m now old enough to dance around and sing along to Bruce Springsteen’s Glory Days and have it all actually make a little more sense in my life. I mean, I’m not thinking about a girl I used to know, I am a happily married woman, and I had absolutely nothing to do with Baseball (except one time when I was in grade school, I was gonna try out for the Baseball team, I have no idea who’s idea that was, but me and two of my Barrelassin cousins were gonna do it, so all of our mothers bought us matching jersey type shirts, balls, bats, and gloves so we could practice at home first. I recall the day I was gonna tie my shoe and as I stood up, I got nailed in the head with the bat as my cousin proceeded to hit the ball. I lived. But it was all just a stupid, stupid idea.) Anyway, the point is, I’ve always liked that song, and I used to sing it so proudly, even though, I was just a kid, and had yet to experience the glory days that Bruce sings about. I hadn’t even been to high school yet, but now that I have, and my glory days are slightly different than the ones Bruce sings about, I at least have enough days behind me now to reflect on some of my very own glory days.

Here’s to ya Barrelassers, enjoy 🙂

IT’S TRICKY TO ROCK A RHYME…WHEN YOU’RE NOT RUN DMC

It’s tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme, that’s right, on time, it’s tricky. I can’t imagine how Run DMC was even able to come up with that. I’d say it was tricky for that line alone. It’s even trickier when you’re an eleven year old kid in your room, trying desperately to rock a rhyme with Run DMC, all you want is your Adidas, cause you be illin’, and you’re so proud to be black y’all…but wait, you’re a skinny little, seriously Casper like, white girl.

 I used to ride around with my older cousin, blasting Proud to be black y’all, and that’s a fact y’all, over and over on some days, and we must have looked ridiculous!! Ridiculous because, sometimes we would sit in the driveway, of a predominantly black neighborhood, and blast these songs like we were the toughest bitches in all the land, but in reality, I was eleven, weighed about sixty-five pounds if that, I mean, I fractured my elbow from doing a regular cartwheel because my arm wasn’t strong enough to hold up my own body weight, which tells you how small my arm was. I hardly think I was tough enough to even wear Adidas, let alone display to the world my pride for being black, all while rocking a rhyme let’s not forget.

 I guess what Run DMC says is probably true, “Tinted windows don’t mean nothing ; they know who’s inside.” However, nobody ever said anything, they just let us sit over there and rock our rhymes like we were pros. That goes to show, it doesn’t really matter what the lyrics are or the color of your skin, as long as the cool jams move you inside 🙂 I still love Run DMC! When I went to see Kid Rock a few years ago, I was more excited to see Rev Run than anyone in the whole building, and trust me, I was illin’!

It’s Tricky Barrelassers, but enjoy 🙂

THE PROPER WORKOUT ATTIRE

Can anyone tell me why we did this? Shorts over sweatpants? What the hell was that all about anyway? Was it strictly fashion, or was there some weird reason for it? I know back then, I was of the opinion that it was a really cool look, but looking back on it now, it’s the over-all concept that I’m having trouble with.

 I mean, one day, someone was like, “These sweatpants are simply not enough. I think I should put my shorts on over them.” I get now why most of us have such a problem with kids who wear their pants sagging to the ground (Other than the fact that it’s just stupid),  It’s because when we were growing up, we were accustomed to wearing all the clothes we had at the same time to create a fashion statement. We even wore all the jewelry we owned at the same time. One bracelet was not enough, we needed fifteen on each arm, a ring on every finger,  and ten different earrings…IN ONLY OUR EARS!

 Now they barely dress, and put the rings all over their face. We wore leg warmers with shorts and bathing suits for crying out loud!! But why, why on Earth did we wear a pair of shorts over our sweatpants? You think about that and get back to me, America.

 “I’m burning up, burning up for your love” (or more likely because I’m wearing sweatpants over my shorts.)
 Enjoy Barrelassers 🙂

WARNING! SLUG BUG; NO PUNCH BACK!

What the hell ever!! I will no longer be following this rule. I don’t know who’s idea it was, but it’s pure bullshit! If you slug me…you’re getting knocked the hell out. No more hiding behind the “no punch back” clause. Not happenin’.  This rule no longer applies. Let this serve as a warning.

“Hey Mickey” is your song today. Because my name is Mickey, and I just assume that I’m so fine.
Enjoy Barrelassers:)

http://www.kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=I+only+wrote+this+to+piss+people+off

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF THE 80’S!

I’m pretty sure if Bravo comes out with one more Housewives show, or spin-off,  I will no longer be able to watch another TV network. Bravo is pretty much taking up most of my TV viewing time, and I’m not complaining. In fact, I want more! Tonight, I won’t be Tardy for Kim’s party and Kathy Griffin has ANOTHER STAND-UP SPECIAL that I can barely wait for!

 I want to be one of the Housewives of anywhere. Maybe  I could be an honorary Housewife!! This is how that would go down…I live in the country, I listen to 80’s rock music on a regular basis, but I love to dress up, and I’m completely convinced that I will one day be a guest on WWHL with Andy Cohen. I’m not sure why yet, I just always assume that I will be. It’s not a matter of “if” it’s a matter of “when.” I better get my act together, huh?

 Oh yes, and I think the second guest should either be Valerie Bertinelli or someone from the rock band Cinderella! I chose Valerie because duh, she’s so dang cute, funny, has great hair pieces and of course because she’s not only an inspiration to women everywhere, but she was also once married to my favorite guitarist, Eddie Van Halen. I chose Cinderella, because that’s who I’ve been stuck on again this week. My daughter hates to ride with me when I start digging through the CD’s. These kids have no clue:(

Enjoy Barrelassers 🙂

Mickey Bryan ~  Check out my eBook https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/319453
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/MickeyBryan