GHETTO BLASTING

I love the idea in all 80’s sitcoms and movies that you know you’re in a bad neighborhood or situation when you encounter one or more guys with bandanas on their heads, sleeveless bluejean vests, and at least one with a boombox (otherwise known as a ghetto blaster) perched on his shoulder.

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ZZ TOP MEETS VAN HALEN

Every girl’s crazy bout a sharp dressed man, but what about a not so sharp dressed twelve year old? I remember watching ZZ Top’s video for ‘She’s Got Legs’ and loving it! I wasn’t even a teenager yet, but I so wanted to put on a dress and wear ruffled socks with high heels. I got my chance, too.

 In 1986, at my first Van Halen concert, I was twelve. And it was a pretty dumb move. Someone should’ve stopped me. I wore this form fitting purple dress, it was indeed made for a twelve year old, so it suited me. That is, until, I put on a pair of gray ankle socks with two little pink stripes, and then on top of that I put on a pair of ridiculous blue heels that were given to me  to play in. All of this was complemented by the fat white belt that came with the dress. I’m pretty sure it was too much, even for the eighties. In fact, I think the eighties had a meeting, and almost kicked me out.

 I remember standing in line for the show with all the other normally dressed eighties people and thinking “what have I done?” Apparently a concert shirt and a pair of ripped jeans would’ve been just fine for the occasion. But noooo, I had to bring ZZ TOP to the party. I also remember a sweaty guy in line with a cut off shirt and chunks of deodorant on it, but hey, I was certainly in no position to judge. At the end of the day, my bright white Casper, toothpick “LEGS” had a good time, so I guess I’d do it all over again.

Enjoy Barrelassers 🙂

KISS

Every KISS song I’ve ever heard is swirling in my head right now! It’s a real mess up there. I may poo my pants in honor of the fact that Gene Simmons’ wife, Shannon Tweed, responded to one of my tweets. Nothing big, just talkin’ bout the weather, literally lol. I have sooo many KISS memories that I can’t begin to talk about them all, so I’m gonna make one up. Here’s how I picture it…her and Gene are

chillin’ on the bed after a long day, (like on their show) she’s checking her tweets, Gene’s in his one piece pajamas, she’s tweeting back and forth with her followers, and then somehow they have a big discussion about my tweet, and say “Barrelassin'” a bunch of times. The End and I live happily ever after 🙂 Oh wait, and then pretend this morning Gene woke up and wanted to buy my name and logo for millions and I said “yes” and I got rich as hell, and took all my friends out for cocktails 🙂

KENNY ROGERS AND 400 CHILDREN!

You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille. Four hungry children and a crop in the field. Not only did I stand on top of the Sesame Street swingset (on the slide) and put this concert on, for what seemed like thousands of kids (3 when it was a sold out show) many, many times, but I also never got the words right. Forever I stood there belting out, “400 children, in a crop, in a field.”
I seriously thought that was a lot of damn kids in a field.
Enjoy Barrelassers 🙂

MORNIN’

Everybody’s got a hungry heart, everybody’s got a hu-hu- hungrrrry heart. Fantastic song! That one started rolling around the minute I had the thought “I’m hungry.” That’s the way this works. Now if I only had a Breakfast Club. See how quick it can change? Gotta barrelass to the fridge Barrelassers! Till then, don’t don’t don’t you….forget about me.
Enjoy 🙂

TWISTED CLEAN ROCKIN’ CARPET

So we keep seeing these commercials with Dee Snider (Twisted Sister) showing up at some unsuspecting couple’s home to inform them that they’ve just won a weekend with Dee Snider. This is fake of course, it’s really an endorsement for a carpet cleaning product. So I guess this got Papa Jay thinking (I suspect fantasizing is more kike it), but anyway, barrelassin’ down the road the other day, out of nowhere he says “I wonder what a real weekend with Dee Snider would actually be like….” I answered with something like “probably sit around with his family, have some coffee.” Papa Jay says “yeah, probably” but I could see the wheels turning and I believe, in his mind, it was something more like the two of them with electric guitars strapped around their necks, jumping all over the furniture, punching holes in walls, and tearing stuff up all the while singing and screaming “We’re not gonna take it, NO, we ain’t gonna take it, we’re not gonna take it, anymooooore!”  And we can’t forget the occasional fist clench in front of their faces lol. I have to say, seems a lot more fun than cleaning carpets. Anyway, let that record skip in your this fine morning.
Enjoy Barrelassers 🙂